[Rain] There is a blanket of stars behind the grey of the clouds. A handful of tiny pin-prick hopes cast out into the heaves, twinkling, brightly, shining, unseen. And among those half-breath, baited, lingering brightness, among their tiny time-struck faces, sails a fish hook moon so slender, so pale, so seemingly fragile that it casts no light at all through the clouds and then the falling snow.
The paths in Grant Park were already slippery at this time of night. Now that frozen danger is camoflagued by a light dusting of snow. It falls down, clumping and flocking, lingering on any horizontal surface, piling into white highlights, attention drawing smears of reflective bright. It catches up in her eyelashes, eddies in the wake of her breath, flecks her brown jacket with doe spots.
Rain has stopped seeing the snow as lovely, and decided it is merely cold. Tonight, though, she seeks to recapture a sense of that awe, to remember that she is a tiny pin-prick hope, a candescent lamp, a hope of her own. She's been sitting on this bench in the park for half an hour, now. Watching the snow, becoming a dark-and-white smear in the night, like any other stationary point. She smells of the bus, and the Chinatown alleys, and a coffee shop in Lake View, and a myriad of other small smells. She smells like the city, and she breathes in winter and breathes out something warmer than makes the snowflakes dance.
It's beautiful. It's cold. And the moon can't quite peak through to see it.
[Rain] [Go-go-gadget auto-correct: ...cast out into the *heavens...]
[Kora] The snow's still light, falling from the clotted gray sky in picturesque swirls that smear the lamplight, dampen sound, make the world seem both rather more private and - somehow - both hushed and expansive. There's a heavier promise behind those clouds, the building edge of a blizzard, some great storm tracking against the horizon. Maybe Rain caught the edge of a winter storm warning from the crawl at the bottom of the flat-screen in the waiting area in the Chinese place, or heard a pair of strangers discussing the storm on the bus. Maybe she's as disconnected from those concrete pieces of the human world as the Garou seem to be - living not by the turn of the calendar but by the movement of the seasons, the circuit of the moon.
So: something in the sky perks up Sorrow's animal senses; reminds her of other skies, other storms, other plains, other places. The sense is backgrounded still - just a spark of primal feeling - but enough to make her brighter, more aware of the immediacy of the physical world. The snow coating the ice coating the usually groomed sidewalks of the park. The icy halos surrounding the iron-black streetlamps here, meant to invoke some nostalgia for another, older age. The stillness of the young woman sitting on the park bench: who resolves into a familiar shape, a familiar face - only when she closes the distance.
Sorrow has a long stride, but she's not walking swiftly tonight. One hand's in the pocket of her winter coat; the other's wrapped around a hot drink in a cardboard mug, the sharp scent of chocolate - not coffee - a brief, sweet note against the cold air.
"You're starting to look like a snowwoman," says the Skald, when she's in speaking distance. The snowflakes melt in Rain's hair, against her cheeks. But they accumulate on the shoulders and yoke of her coat. There's a hint of humor in Kora's voice, muffled by a twist of a scarf. Her shadow here is long, multipartite - a half-dozen shades of gray, a half-dozen distorted shapes from a half-dozen distant light sources. Nearly all of them cut across the kinswoman's face when she looks up. Kora's backgrounded by light - not haloed, as her hair's bound back, concealed beneath a hood. She could have been anyone from a distance, until rage and the distinct timbre of her voice defined her as Kora.
"Mind if I join you?"
[Rain] You're starting to look like a snowwoman.
"I'm trying to blend in," Unicorn's kin says, with a glance upward through her eyelashes for the familiar Skald. Where once there would have been a tensing of her shoulders, a clench to her jaw, that general tight and readiness to the whole of her slight form, now a smile blossoms across her mouth and the warmth of it touches the dark fields of her eyes. Rain's face is cast in shadows, but for Kora it is anything but dark and hidden. Illuminated and open: starbright: moonlight: reflected.
"Please, make yourself comfortable," she says, reaching out with one gloved hand to sweep away the accumulation beside her. It leaves broad swaths of dark bench slats showing against the dusting a white. Carves out a niche for Sorrow beside her.
There were warnings on the televisions, but there had been no televisions where Rain spent the breadth of her afternoon and evening. She'd been looking for Eve in the alleyways and narrow streets. She'd been courting her past, with all its dangers and familiarity. And now she was alone, on a bench, in the park -- no, not alone anymore. She shared it with Sorrow.
There have been nights in the last week that Rain did not come home to the stout Church in the Green, with it's dappled stained glass moonlight and its snow drifting down from the frozen ribs and spine of the sanctuary roof. There'd been a span of nearly forty-eight hours when her guitar languished under the bunk that she'd claimed in the dormitory rooms. It was not every night, but it was often enough to notice. The gifts and tithes and groceries and money had not stopped appearing on their fridge and dining table, but they were grouped together. A couple days' offerings in one go. A little silence in between.
She wasn't underfoot as much. Less taxing. Didn't demand for them to divide their attention, such as they might have before.
[Kora] "If that's the aim," says Sorrow, a wry note touching her voice as she sinks into the space Rain has cleared off on the bench. " - well then, you've got a long way to go."
There's still snow there, the lightest dust - flakes stuck in the broken grooves of the painted bench, the knots and whorls of the dead pine planed and primed and painted to make the slates. Look at her sidewalks, she's half-smiling, her curving mouth twisting with a certain supple humor, more elastic than most of her fellow Garou. More settled - somehow - into her blood and her flesh and her bones than so many of her kind.
"You're well?" It is the quietest question, easy to throw off. Easy to settle into a groove that sounds like a call and response. There's a certain inflection on [i]well[i], though, a certain vibrance underneath, which is matched by the touch of her dark-eyes on the kinswoman's features - first her mouth, that smile, and then the warm light that shines from her eyes - a certain serious undercurrent that suggests that Sorrow is asking the question because she wants to know the answer. "With Howard - and the rest?"
The lake's out there, dark beyond the soft, still illumination enveloping the park. The city's orange glow reflects bright against the dark waters, but then recedes in the distance, until it seems swallowed by some indefinable horizon of dark waters and dark sky.
It's quiet enough that they can hear themselves breathe. Can hear the low hum of traffic on the loop - slower now, cautious with the new layer of snow on the old layer of ice and slush - that they can pick up the knocks of individual engines if they strain for them.
"The city never seems so quiet," says Kora, " - as when it snows."
[Rain] There was a time when Rain would not have sat this close to Kora on the park bench. When the sound of the Skald's breathing would have kept her quietly terrified. And all of it would have been because of what Kora is, rather than who she might be. There'd been some of that the night they'd met, Rain standing half-behind Linus, Kora thumping the table to emphasize some point. There had been a wariness then, it is worn down to something familiar now.
Kora smiles. Rain's answers that, spreading softly, somewhat sadly at the mention of the Fianna who had passed.
"We might have been friends," she says, of Howard, into that great quiet that wells up between them. She does not presume that they were friends. She does not imply anything greater or less. There had been potential for something precious; there had been some fondness spent on that hope. It is gone now. One more great If swallowed up by the black unknowable universe. One more small silence, slipped in to fill up its leaving.
"I'm well," Rain answers, after some consideration. It's a measured thing, weighed carefully against the cold winter night. It's a more weighty answer she gives to Kora than anyone else; more complete in its silences and its southern-shaped sounds. A thousand half-said things lurk in the corners of those two words. A sadness. A hope. Rain is skilled at expression; she keeps little back. These things float in the margins of what she does and doesn't say; they cling to the back of her throat, stopper it up, shift her breathing.
"I like the snow better at night. When it's soft-seeming; when it reflects the light. It seems so hopeful," she says. "So clear and clean."
[Kora] We might have been friends. says Rain. Nothing more, nothing less. Kora turns her head, studies the young kinswoman's profile, outlined against the muted winter night. The soft curve of her cheek, stark with cold, the bow of her mouth. The dark gleam of her eyes viewed aslant, depth lost with the angle of the glance, turned to a sort of errant brightness with the reflection of the path lighting.
And she breathes out, Sorrow - the sound is soft but clearly audible. That's as deliberate as anything: an acknowledgment of sorts; of grief's edge, turning over in dark waters, never wholly surfacing.
There's a strange concordance here. She sat here alone along the path on a cold spring night, scoured with grief over the death of her Alpha. HOllowed out and remade with it. The memory of that night impresses itself - not strongly - but with a sort of sense memory, arising from nowhere, the way the echo of a car's engine in a still house on a warm night brings back some still, long-past memory with a hopeless sort of immediacy. Like it could be eaten again, swallowed whole, some strange communion of loss.
Which is to say: there's a gravity to the half-smile of acknowledgment on Kora's supple mouth.
She breathes in again, and looks away, back out to the dark waters of the lake, the ripple of the city's lights fading to black in the distance.
"I fostered at this Sept in these remote islands in the North Atlantic. Hjaltland, the tribe calls them. The Shetlands. The Caern was even further, out among these scattered skerries in the middle of nowhere. Just sky and sea, and storms. Winter's so dark you started to ache for sunlight." Another huff, this one supple, quiet with memory.
"I used to sit on the headlands at the Sept and stare off into the east as the sun set. Not the west. I didn't want to see the sun, just the rush of night over the waters, yeah? Snow squalls in the distance until darkness erased the horizon, and even the rocks at the base of the cliff disappeared."
[Rain] "It sounds lovely," Rain says, followed by a little huff-chuckle sound as she realized how odd that might sound to someone without a poet's soul or countenance. The kinswoman smile cants, leans, is momentarily off-center as she reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear.
"I used to sit on the shoreline at home and watch the colors shift on the horizon, not watching the sun, at the same time of night. There's a blush, then a lavendar fade, then a duskiness to all of it just before the moon rises -- yellow like a lantern over the sea. The Atlantic swells so sharply; everything smelled of sea and tide-lines. In the autumn, you could hear the moss sway on the breeze, hanging down from the trees like curtains. In the old town there were these plazas, in the heart of a cluster of old manor homes, some of them had statues or gazebos. I used to close my eyes and imagine I could hear the ghosts and spirits sweeping through them.
"And low, and slow, and fat-lazy came the peal of church bells, calling us home to Wednesday night sermons. Especially in the summer, when twilight stretched on forever.
"There's no slowness like that here, unless it's dark, and snowing."
[Kora] "Hah - " Kora's laugh is abrupt, not bright, falling just behind Rain's remark that it sounds - lovely. A burst of air from her diaphragm that quiets as Rain supplies her own memory of the Atlantic - a quieter, less storm-ridden shore.
"New Orleans?" Kora responds, giving the kinswoman another sidelong look, her chin rising above her scarf. The hot chocolate she brought with her rests nearly forgotten on her left knee, a welcome warmth, the scent permeating the air around them, competing with the metallic cast of the storm gathering off to the west. "Or - " watching Rain for confirmation or clarification.
There's that wry twist to her mouth again, though, and afterwards Kora shakes her head once, reaching up to tip back the hood that has mostly-shrouded her pale hair, her sharp, nordic features softened only by the subtle weight gain of pregnancy and the supple curve of her mouth.
"I didn't think of it as lovely then. I just wanted to get away; I didn't think I'd ever be anywhere other than that bloody place. The middle of nowhere, surrounded by blasted, violent strangers - most of whom didn't speak
my language. But somehow night feels the same everywhere, yeah? The way the horizon opens up, then closes off again. It's like shutting a window and opening a door.
"That was early, though. Right after. Before I settled into my skin, and remembered who I'd always been. Maybe later I thought of it as lovely. And when I left, I never thought I'd ever miss that place. But I do, you know? On dark nights at the lake's edge.
"When it's snowing. And the horizon's turned back in on itself, hung up between water and sky."
[Rain] New Orleans? Kora offers.
"Savannah," Rain answers. The Skald is one of only a few, now, who know where home is for the small songbird. Who could track her last name back to a shanty on the wrong side of the tracks, to parents who were neither distinguished nor kind. Kora could follow her history back to the accident of her birth, now, and then forward, slowly, toward the place the Nation found her. Rain doesn't offer it up often; they knew her by a different name then.
She is not so entirely different from they who have Changed.
"A place becomes weighty when it joins the rest of history," the songbird says, softly. She is young, but she has been tried and tested, forged in a hotter fire than most her age. The Nation does that, both to its warriors and to its keepers of lineage and hearths. "Somehow it becomes more than it ever was in a moment: all sounds and sentiment, raw and smoothed over, perfect and untouchable, and impossible to recreate. You can never go back, and it can never come forward the way that you knew it.
"It hangs, out there, like that horizon. No matter how far you go to find it, it'll always be just out of reach."
Rain draws her hair over one shoulder, glances over at the Skald again. They can talk like this, about places far away, about longing, deep and keening things, without having to touch on the imperfect parts of now. There's ache enough, Sorrow enough, in the things they share to sum up the hurts of the moment they live in. When Rain breathes these things out, she imbues them with a sort of hope and warmth, a gilded edge, a gentling. Like the vignetting of an old photograph, curled edges, smiles softened away from whatever they had been meant to mean: fondness: continuation: enduring: hope that runs like a river, slow moving and steady, even under a frozen surface.
The water is dark, out there, where the sky swallows its edge, and the clouds refuse to give up the moonlight, the starbright, the pin-pricks of hope. So Sorrow sits beside one instead, and Rain shines softly. It's the only way she knows how to be.
"I miss Eve," she says, and it's as poignant as anything they've shared. It needs no elaboration. She casts it out there, thrown into the sky like a little prick of light, a thing lost in the vastness of the stories they keep.
The quiet stretches. She counts her heartbeats, the shape of her breath, the way the cold makes her chest constrict, the numbness in her fingertips. She knows all of these things keenly now, bright and immanent; she knows that, years from now, when she talks of sitting on a bench in the snow near the lake in the winter, they will have faded away like the dimming contrast of another old photograph, the unspoken lines of prose, the weighty and weightless adjectives uncaptured in the cadence of a poem.
"But I think --" she stops there, exhales, disrupts the fall of snowflakes and causes them to dance and jig and sway and slow. "I think I might have found someone who eases that." Tentative. Quiet. Uncertain. Hopeful. These things are all wrapped up in that breath she lets go, to the quiet, to the snowfall, to the Skald sitting beside her. There's no surety to it. It rises up to the starlight; it fades like the twilight.
[Kora] (pause!)
The paths in Grant Park were already slippery at this time of night. Now that frozen danger is camoflagued by a light dusting of snow. It falls down, clumping and flocking, lingering on any horizontal surface, piling into white highlights, attention drawing smears of reflective bright. It catches up in her eyelashes, eddies in the wake of her breath, flecks her brown jacket with doe spots.
Rain has stopped seeing the snow as lovely, and decided it is merely cold. Tonight, though, she seeks to recapture a sense of that awe, to remember that she is a tiny pin-prick hope, a candescent lamp, a hope of her own. She's been sitting on this bench in the park for half an hour, now. Watching the snow, becoming a dark-and-white smear in the night, like any other stationary point. She smells of the bus, and the Chinatown alleys, and a coffee shop in Lake View, and a myriad of other small smells. She smells like the city, and she breathes in winter and breathes out something warmer than makes the snowflakes dance.
It's beautiful. It's cold. And the moon can't quite peak through to see it.
[Rain] [Go-go-gadget auto-correct: ...cast out into the *heavens...]
[Kora] The snow's still light, falling from the clotted gray sky in picturesque swirls that smear the lamplight, dampen sound, make the world seem both rather more private and - somehow - both hushed and expansive. There's a heavier promise behind those clouds, the building edge of a blizzard, some great storm tracking against the horizon. Maybe Rain caught the edge of a winter storm warning from the crawl at the bottom of the flat-screen in the waiting area in the Chinese place, or heard a pair of strangers discussing the storm on the bus. Maybe she's as disconnected from those concrete pieces of the human world as the Garou seem to be - living not by the turn of the calendar but by the movement of the seasons, the circuit of the moon.
So: something in the sky perks up Sorrow's animal senses; reminds her of other skies, other storms, other plains, other places. The sense is backgrounded still - just a spark of primal feeling - but enough to make her brighter, more aware of the immediacy of the physical world. The snow coating the ice coating the usually groomed sidewalks of the park. The icy halos surrounding the iron-black streetlamps here, meant to invoke some nostalgia for another, older age. The stillness of the young woman sitting on the park bench: who resolves into a familiar shape, a familiar face - only when she closes the distance.
Sorrow has a long stride, but she's not walking swiftly tonight. One hand's in the pocket of her winter coat; the other's wrapped around a hot drink in a cardboard mug, the sharp scent of chocolate - not coffee - a brief, sweet note against the cold air.
"You're starting to look like a snowwoman," says the Skald, when she's in speaking distance. The snowflakes melt in Rain's hair, against her cheeks. But they accumulate on the shoulders and yoke of her coat. There's a hint of humor in Kora's voice, muffled by a twist of a scarf. Her shadow here is long, multipartite - a half-dozen shades of gray, a half-dozen distorted shapes from a half-dozen distant light sources. Nearly all of them cut across the kinswoman's face when she looks up. Kora's backgrounded by light - not haloed, as her hair's bound back, concealed beneath a hood. She could have been anyone from a distance, until rage and the distinct timbre of her voice defined her as Kora.
"Mind if I join you?"
[Rain] You're starting to look like a snowwoman.
"I'm trying to blend in," Unicorn's kin says, with a glance upward through her eyelashes for the familiar Skald. Where once there would have been a tensing of her shoulders, a clench to her jaw, that general tight and readiness to the whole of her slight form, now a smile blossoms across her mouth and the warmth of it touches the dark fields of her eyes. Rain's face is cast in shadows, but for Kora it is anything but dark and hidden. Illuminated and open: starbright: moonlight: reflected.
"Please, make yourself comfortable," she says, reaching out with one gloved hand to sweep away the accumulation beside her. It leaves broad swaths of dark bench slats showing against the dusting a white. Carves out a niche for Sorrow beside her.
There were warnings on the televisions, but there had been no televisions where Rain spent the breadth of her afternoon and evening. She'd been looking for Eve in the alleyways and narrow streets. She'd been courting her past, with all its dangers and familiarity. And now she was alone, on a bench, in the park -- no, not alone anymore. She shared it with Sorrow.
There have been nights in the last week that Rain did not come home to the stout Church in the Green, with it's dappled stained glass moonlight and its snow drifting down from the frozen ribs and spine of the sanctuary roof. There'd been a span of nearly forty-eight hours when her guitar languished under the bunk that she'd claimed in the dormitory rooms. It was not every night, but it was often enough to notice. The gifts and tithes and groceries and money had not stopped appearing on their fridge and dining table, but they were grouped together. A couple days' offerings in one go. A little silence in between.
She wasn't underfoot as much. Less taxing. Didn't demand for them to divide their attention, such as they might have before.
[Kora] "If that's the aim," says Sorrow, a wry note touching her voice as she sinks into the space Rain has cleared off on the bench. " - well then, you've got a long way to go."
There's still snow there, the lightest dust - flakes stuck in the broken grooves of the painted bench, the knots and whorls of the dead pine planed and primed and painted to make the slates. Look at her sidewalks, she's half-smiling, her curving mouth twisting with a certain supple humor, more elastic than most of her fellow Garou. More settled - somehow - into her blood and her flesh and her bones than so many of her kind.
"You're well?" It is the quietest question, easy to throw off. Easy to settle into a groove that sounds like a call and response. There's a certain inflection on [i]well[i], though, a certain vibrance underneath, which is matched by the touch of her dark-eyes on the kinswoman's features - first her mouth, that smile, and then the warm light that shines from her eyes - a certain serious undercurrent that suggests that Sorrow is asking the question because she wants to know the answer. "With Howard - and the rest?"
The lake's out there, dark beyond the soft, still illumination enveloping the park. The city's orange glow reflects bright against the dark waters, but then recedes in the distance, until it seems swallowed by some indefinable horizon of dark waters and dark sky.
It's quiet enough that they can hear themselves breathe. Can hear the low hum of traffic on the loop - slower now, cautious with the new layer of snow on the old layer of ice and slush - that they can pick up the knocks of individual engines if they strain for them.
"The city never seems so quiet," says Kora, " - as when it snows."
[Rain] There was a time when Rain would not have sat this close to Kora on the park bench. When the sound of the Skald's breathing would have kept her quietly terrified. And all of it would have been because of what Kora is, rather than who she might be. There'd been some of that the night they'd met, Rain standing half-behind Linus, Kora thumping the table to emphasize some point. There had been a wariness then, it is worn down to something familiar now.
Kora smiles. Rain's answers that, spreading softly, somewhat sadly at the mention of the Fianna who had passed.
"We might have been friends," she says, of Howard, into that great quiet that wells up between them. She does not presume that they were friends. She does not imply anything greater or less. There had been potential for something precious; there had been some fondness spent on that hope. It is gone now. One more great If swallowed up by the black unknowable universe. One more small silence, slipped in to fill up its leaving.
"I'm well," Rain answers, after some consideration. It's a measured thing, weighed carefully against the cold winter night. It's a more weighty answer she gives to Kora than anyone else; more complete in its silences and its southern-shaped sounds. A thousand half-said things lurk in the corners of those two words. A sadness. A hope. Rain is skilled at expression; she keeps little back. These things float in the margins of what she does and doesn't say; they cling to the back of her throat, stopper it up, shift her breathing.
"I like the snow better at night. When it's soft-seeming; when it reflects the light. It seems so hopeful," she says. "So clear and clean."
[Kora] We might have been friends. says Rain. Nothing more, nothing less. Kora turns her head, studies the young kinswoman's profile, outlined against the muted winter night. The soft curve of her cheek, stark with cold, the bow of her mouth. The dark gleam of her eyes viewed aslant, depth lost with the angle of the glance, turned to a sort of errant brightness with the reflection of the path lighting.
And she breathes out, Sorrow - the sound is soft but clearly audible. That's as deliberate as anything: an acknowledgment of sorts; of grief's edge, turning over in dark waters, never wholly surfacing.
There's a strange concordance here. She sat here alone along the path on a cold spring night, scoured with grief over the death of her Alpha. HOllowed out and remade with it. The memory of that night impresses itself - not strongly - but with a sort of sense memory, arising from nowhere, the way the echo of a car's engine in a still house on a warm night brings back some still, long-past memory with a hopeless sort of immediacy. Like it could be eaten again, swallowed whole, some strange communion of loss.
Which is to say: there's a gravity to the half-smile of acknowledgment on Kora's supple mouth.
She breathes in again, and looks away, back out to the dark waters of the lake, the ripple of the city's lights fading to black in the distance.
"I fostered at this Sept in these remote islands in the North Atlantic. Hjaltland, the tribe calls them. The Shetlands. The Caern was even further, out among these scattered skerries in the middle of nowhere. Just sky and sea, and storms. Winter's so dark you started to ache for sunlight." Another huff, this one supple, quiet with memory.
"I used to sit on the headlands at the Sept and stare off into the east as the sun set. Not the west. I didn't want to see the sun, just the rush of night over the waters, yeah? Snow squalls in the distance until darkness erased the horizon, and even the rocks at the base of the cliff disappeared."
[Rain] "It sounds lovely," Rain says, followed by a little huff-chuckle sound as she realized how odd that might sound to someone without a poet's soul or countenance. The kinswoman smile cants, leans, is momentarily off-center as she reaches up to tuck her hair behind her ear.
"I used to sit on the shoreline at home and watch the colors shift on the horizon, not watching the sun, at the same time of night. There's a blush, then a lavendar fade, then a duskiness to all of it just before the moon rises -- yellow like a lantern over the sea. The Atlantic swells so sharply; everything smelled of sea and tide-lines. In the autumn, you could hear the moss sway on the breeze, hanging down from the trees like curtains. In the old town there were these plazas, in the heart of a cluster of old manor homes, some of them had statues or gazebos. I used to close my eyes and imagine I could hear the ghosts and spirits sweeping through them.
"And low, and slow, and fat-lazy came the peal of church bells, calling us home to Wednesday night sermons. Especially in the summer, when twilight stretched on forever.
"There's no slowness like that here, unless it's dark, and snowing."
[Kora] "Hah - " Kora's laugh is abrupt, not bright, falling just behind Rain's remark that it sounds - lovely. A burst of air from her diaphragm that quiets as Rain supplies her own memory of the Atlantic - a quieter, less storm-ridden shore.
"New Orleans?" Kora responds, giving the kinswoman another sidelong look, her chin rising above her scarf. The hot chocolate she brought with her rests nearly forgotten on her left knee, a welcome warmth, the scent permeating the air around them, competing with the metallic cast of the storm gathering off to the west. "Or - " watching Rain for confirmation or clarification.
There's that wry twist to her mouth again, though, and afterwards Kora shakes her head once, reaching up to tip back the hood that has mostly-shrouded her pale hair, her sharp, nordic features softened only by the subtle weight gain of pregnancy and the supple curve of her mouth.
"I didn't think of it as lovely then. I just wanted to get away; I didn't think I'd ever be anywhere other than that bloody place. The middle of nowhere, surrounded by blasted, violent strangers - most of whom didn't speak
my language. But somehow night feels the same everywhere, yeah? The way the horizon opens up, then closes off again. It's like shutting a window and opening a door.
"That was early, though. Right after. Before I settled into my skin, and remembered who I'd always been. Maybe later I thought of it as lovely. And when I left, I never thought I'd ever miss that place. But I do, you know? On dark nights at the lake's edge.
"When it's snowing. And the horizon's turned back in on itself, hung up between water and sky."
[Rain] New Orleans? Kora offers.
"Savannah," Rain answers. The Skald is one of only a few, now, who know where home is for the small songbird. Who could track her last name back to a shanty on the wrong side of the tracks, to parents who were neither distinguished nor kind. Kora could follow her history back to the accident of her birth, now, and then forward, slowly, toward the place the Nation found her. Rain doesn't offer it up often; they knew her by a different name then.
She is not so entirely different from they who have Changed.
"A place becomes weighty when it joins the rest of history," the songbird says, softly. She is young, but she has been tried and tested, forged in a hotter fire than most her age. The Nation does that, both to its warriors and to its keepers of lineage and hearths. "Somehow it becomes more than it ever was in a moment: all sounds and sentiment, raw and smoothed over, perfect and untouchable, and impossible to recreate. You can never go back, and it can never come forward the way that you knew it.
"It hangs, out there, like that horizon. No matter how far you go to find it, it'll always be just out of reach."
Rain draws her hair over one shoulder, glances over at the Skald again. They can talk like this, about places far away, about longing, deep and keening things, without having to touch on the imperfect parts of now. There's ache enough, Sorrow enough, in the things they share to sum up the hurts of the moment they live in. When Rain breathes these things out, she imbues them with a sort of hope and warmth, a gilded edge, a gentling. Like the vignetting of an old photograph, curled edges, smiles softened away from whatever they had been meant to mean: fondness: continuation: enduring: hope that runs like a river, slow moving and steady, even under a frozen surface.
The water is dark, out there, where the sky swallows its edge, and the clouds refuse to give up the moonlight, the starbright, the pin-pricks of hope. So Sorrow sits beside one instead, and Rain shines softly. It's the only way she knows how to be.
"I miss Eve," she says, and it's as poignant as anything they've shared. It needs no elaboration. She casts it out there, thrown into the sky like a little prick of light, a thing lost in the vastness of the stories they keep.
The quiet stretches. She counts her heartbeats, the shape of her breath, the way the cold makes her chest constrict, the numbness in her fingertips. She knows all of these things keenly now, bright and immanent; she knows that, years from now, when she talks of sitting on a bench in the snow near the lake in the winter, they will have faded away like the dimming contrast of another old photograph, the unspoken lines of prose, the weighty and weightless adjectives uncaptured in the cadence of a poem.
"But I think --" she stops there, exhales, disrupts the fall of snowflakes and causes them to dance and jig and sway and slow. "I think I might have found someone who eases that." Tentative. Quiet. Uncertain. Hopeful. These things are all wrapped up in that breath she lets go, to the quiet, to the snowfall, to the Skald sitting beside her. There's no surety to it. It rises up to the starlight; it fades like the twilight.
[Kora] (pause!)