The Silver Fang remains Crinos-formed until the great Lune has withdrawn to inform My Mother the Moon and returned with permission, blessings, direction that she should accompany the smaller spirit to find and return the shadow to its chains. Slumber, Charlotte things. Sleep, quiet.
Then she shifts one again, her body melting into the slender, boyish frame to which she was born. A girl, silver-haired, standing dwarfed by the gates of the palace of the moon, with a glowing little hare at her side.
Alice, right?
In something like wonderland.
Charlotte swings her messenger bag across her body and settles it over her thighs, fingers twining with the straps as she Thinks Thinks Thinks.
"I need to know more about the shadow you saw." She is thinking-human-thoughts, suddenly, perhaps nauseatingly aware of how little she does know, but those human thoughts find themselves remade into something comprehensible to the little spirit. "What kind of shadow? Or where did it go? Or who chained it? Or where can we find it?
"Why do you think it will eat us all? All of that. Any of it. So we know where to go, and whom to ask for help."
-ascendance-Having issued the blessings, charge, and dismissal of the Moon, the great Lune steps back. That enormous door swings shut again, that dazzling light shrinking all along its immense edge until it is thin as a handsbreadth, thin as a yardstick, thin as a pencil, thin as a knife's edge,
gone.
Left to themselves on Luna's luminous surface, which in comparison to the light within that palace seems almost dark, the little rabbit-shaped lune straightens from its deep bow and twitches its nose. It seems quite about to berate Charlotte again for being silly, silly, stupid, meat! -- but something stays its tongue this time. It thinks.
"I show you."
It unslings the mortar-and-pestle from its furry back and grips it in its furry little paws and tosses a pawful of something, some bright leaf-thing, from its satchel into the mortar and pounds pounds pounds pounds pounds until the bright leaf-things are bright-dust.
"Here," the little lune says, and throws a handful of dust into Charlotte's eyes. She can feel the particles land, each a tiny zing like soda popping on the tongue. There's no pain, but: at once her vision goes black.
She hears the little lune. Every word, every sentence pulls light out of darkness. Brilliant, simple lines, like prehistoric drawings in the cave of Charlotte's mind, sketching the tale even as the small spirit tells it:
"Meat-wolf can fall into darkness, yes? You know this. Spirit can fall into darkness too. Even big spirits, great spirits, spirits of mighty suns many many many many many far-aways away. When suns fall into darkness they change. They not shine anymore. They become hungry, so hungry. They eat all things, even other suns. So other suns band together. They circle the fallen suns. Keep them locked in. Keep everyone else safe.
"But the fallen suns, like My Mother the Moon, like My Grandfather the Sun, have many many many childrens. These childrens so small, the bright suns not see them. So they not locked in. They get away, go everywhere, make trouble.
"Long long time ago, when I not even me yet, one child-of-fallen-sun came here. It make trouble! It eat everything! So My Mother the Moon sent my mighty elder brothersisters to stop it. They fought for many many turnings, and many many elder brothersisters died, but little by little, by light of Mother, the shadow become small. Small enough to defeat! Small enough to catch. Small enough to put away and lock away and keep away from everyone else.
"Many many many many many many many turnings later, after I become me, shadow escape. I not know where it go. But it still small, and it cunning, and it hungry, and it eat light. It not strong enough to try to eat My Grandfather the Sun. It not strong enough to challenge My Mother the Moon. But it will look for small lights to eat, maybe small childrens of Moon. Maybe small meat-wolves. And if we not find it and lock it away, it become stronger and stronger soon."
Black SheepOh,
she breathes in the dust, which fills her every cell with this sensation of light. The brilliance behind her, the soft face of Luna beneath her feet. The moon who comes and the moon who hides and the moon who comes again, and wrapped in a kind of awe that could feel jagged were it not for the softening light of the moon, she watches as the little spirit shows her what only it saw escape its bonds.
After. After after after, she straightens, rubs her thumb and index fingers together as she considers the glimmering moondust and its soft, inherent glow against her skin.
"Okay." Still quiet. "Ask one of your brothersisters to make a moonbridge to take us back to the Caern. Then, show me where the hungry-sun-spirit was bound. We'll start there. I can try to track it with a rite or a gift, and if that doesn't work we'll track it another way. Or ask a No-Moon to come help.
"Meanwhile I'll try to think of something to bind it into so that it won't escape again."
-ascendance-And so that is what they do:
They call upon a stronger Lune, and they open a moonbridge, and they know the exhilaration of utmost speed once more. Earth, that beautiful blue marble: it grows larger and larger, more and more beautiful, aglow and aglitter in the sharp, dustless darkness of space. What bittersweetness to come home to such a home, and to know that it, like all other aspects of the Gaia-Mother, is under such vicious attack.
They land back in the Caern. Hours or days might have gone by, or little time at all. It is nighttime still, or nighttime again. And the little lune, still glowing-hare-shaped, bounds into the deep shadows with long, haunch-driven lopes. On and on and on they run, wolf and rabbit, girl and spirit, until they reach and cross the edge of the bawn, until they're deep in the dry, brittle wilderness of highland Colorado.
All at once, the little lune stops. They are standing at the lip of a wide, shallow indentation, so old and weatherworn that realmside Charlotte would have never identified as a crater from a meteorite strike. That is what it is, though, and here in the Umbra it still smells faintly of not-from-here; it still pulses with the faintest memory of its fiery descent to earth. And lo: there in the center, a fist-sized hunk of oily-shiny, dark, misshapen rock. If Charlotte looks across the Gauntlet, she finds the same hunk of rock in the realm, though the area has long since smoothed out in rain and wind; has long since overgrown with weeds and detritus.
The little lune sits on its haunches and scratches behind a long ear with a hindpaw.
"When elder sisterbrothers dragged the shadow to My Mother the Moon, she bound it into rock and threw it far far away. The Earth caught it and buried it here for many many many turnings."
Black SheepCharlotte is girl-shaped again and she hunkers down in the center of the crater, examining the hunk of oily-shiny rock, listening with that odd, delicate solemnity to everything the little Lune says. Bows her head after, her pale brows furrowed as she slips her fingers over the piece of rock.
Then picks it up, feels its weight in her hand. She does not have the name of the fallen-sun, but she has its prison and she knows - must know - the way its scent will twist the world, its original nature warped and devoured by a darkness so foul it is hard to conceive or hold.
First, she opens her senses and invokes one of the simplest gifts she knows, to catch the scent of the wyrm in the air. Then, she pulls out from her back a very simple set of implements: an iron needle and a string.
She holds the hunk of meteorite in one hand, the needle dangling from its string in the other, and concentrates, seeking the path of the shadow-that-escaped.
Black SheepSense Wyrm!
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 6, 9, 10) ( success x 3 )
Black Sheepwits + rituals for questing stone.
Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 5, 8, 8, 8, 10) ( success x 4 )
-ascendance-That hunk of meteorite: it feels cold, and crawl-y, and a little bit slimy. It also feels dead, though. Emptied out. When she stretches out her senses to catch the smell of the Wyrm, she can scent its stink immediately on that rock. And, as she stretches her senses farther, farther --
the needle whips out. It pulls eagerly forward, north-east-ward, toward the city.
"Meat-wolf has idea?" the little lune wants to know. It has found a bit of grass. It is eating grass, its little buckteeth busily chewing. "Meat-wolf knows how to trap shadow?"
Black Sheep"Meat-wolf," returns girl-Charlotte with this small smile that has a tinge of familiarity, even affection, for the little grass-chewing lune There is a store there, about the moon and the earth somehow, but she is not a storyteller and she knows only that the moon changes, and hides her face, and shrouds herself sometimes even in shadow, and then returns. "knows where the shadow is. The needle shows me.
"I don't exactly how to trap the shadow. But I am going to cleanse the rock in which it was imprisoned. Then I am going to follow the rite and go closer and closer until I am so close it will have to come when I call it.
"I'll stay by the river, if I can. And ask the spirits of the river to be ready to help if I need them.
"Then I'll summon the shadow to me, and try to bind it back into its prison.
"That's what meat-wolf is going to do."
Alert, she half-rises then, pulls out a small flask to start a rite of cleasing on the oily, pulsing foulness of the meteorite.
(Rite of Cleansing - dif ??)
Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (1, 2, 2, 6, 7, 8, 10) ( success x 4 )
-ascendance-That thin needle pulls Charlotte onward through the night. At some point, she realizes it's more prudent to run on all fours than to walk. Even then, the journey is long: countless miles passing underfoot as she lopes her tireless wolf's lope toward the city.
It's an overcast night. Realmside, Denver lights up the cloud cover over its heart. It is so bright: the brightest thing for miles. Even in the Umbra it seems made of light, a million glistening strands of spiderweb slung between the shadows of skyscrapers and highrises, each strand aglow from within. No wonder a piece of a fallen star, hungry for light, is drawn to it.
As it runs, the little lune eventually loses its hare's shape. It floats into the air, changes, becomes avian. Small and swift and sure of wing, with a distinctly split tail: a swallow made of silver, shadowing Charlotte's pace.
Eventually, the needle begins to pull harder. And then harder still. And then so hard that Charlotte knows the shadow must be very, very near indeed.
Black Sheepa die!
Dice: 1 d10 TN6 (1) ( fail )
Black SheepIt is close.
The girl-wolf bark-whines at the little Lune floating in the air above it. Her head is canted as if she were listening to something no one else can hear, and perhaps she is. But then she shakes her fur out and laps her tongue at the calcified air. Considering. Another half-bite of the fall air, and she can taste the moisture in it. See the silverling gleam of the river's loops curving through the metallic canyons of the city.
We go to the River first. Then find the shadow.
--
And so she does, feeling the tangible, magnetic pull of the needle against her flank, slipping beneath the singing, glowing strands of the weaver's ever-present web to the edge of something older, wilder, stranger, and well-remembered.
The River.
No need to summon the elementals there, though perhaps she must remind them of what and whom and why she is, and so she calls them to come, and listen. Paws in the shallows, great head lowered rather humbly (for a Silver Fang) to the water's gleaming surface, her own lupine face reflected therein.
I am Charlotte Black Sheep, known to you, known by you, known of you. I bring the water from the mountains, clear and clarified, to help you fight the pollution the Wyrm brings to your shores. The spirits of the Platte saved me once, in no-time, or another-time, so I remember them. Remember me now. I go to bind a gaffling or jaggling of the fallen, hungry sun, before it grows and grows and grows to swallow us all. And ask your aid: to cleanse or heal, perhaps even to battle until it is weak enough to be bound back into the prison it escaped during the eclipse.
And offer in return: continued devotion, gnosis, whatever you would ask.
Black SheepCharisma (3) + Enigmas (3) + Pure Breed (4)
Dice: 10 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 2, 5, 5, 6, 6, 8, 9, 10) ( success x 5 )
-ascendance-I become stronger, the little lune replies, to help.
And so it does: shapechanging again, coming out of the sky and landing on the earth, growing fur, growing fangs, growing claws.
It is a cat now. A small, pretty, sleek-furred wildcat all in white, blinking slit-pupilled eyes at Charlotte. Perhaps Charlotte hasn't the heart to tell it how little help it would be in real, pitched battle.
--
Something you should know about water: ever does it change, and ever does it remain the same. Rivers flow. Lakes fill and drain. Seas rise and fall. Rain pours, rain dries away. And through it all, water: mutable, shifting, returning anew. It remembers.
The River remembers Charlotte from that other-time, that no-time. It is a stone's throw away. It reacts to her voice, stronger and more fluid still in the Umbra. Easily, it floods its banks. Silently, it swells and swells and swells, until the current washes past her ankles.
The little lune hisses. It scrambles onto a rock, wraps its tail daintily around its paws, and begins to groom itself.
And the needle: it pulls.
Black SheepShe hasn't the heart; or perhaps she does. The little lune has become stronger, to help. Whatever its part in the coming fight, it was also the only creature that noticed the shadow's escape.
Without the small spirit's attentiveness, the shadow would be left to grow, and grow, and grow.
Charlotte shifts now: larger, to her heavy-shouldered Crinos form. The messenger bag exists here too: a slim piece of ornately tooled leather slung across her massive frame. The tools of her trade secreted within.
One of them: a slingshot, of all things, which she pulls out along with a handful of obsidian stones, which have been worked, and worked, and worked, written with glyphs and sigils, crafted to be employed against the Wyrm.
A moment's concentration to reawaken the talens - two - and then she follows the needle's pull, along the riverbank, the flood in her wake.
[-1 WP to Activate her Healer's Torque (basically a fetish that confers resist pain. 2 Gnosis rolls to activate her modified bane arrows (stones rather than arrows, flung from slingshot, not fired from a bow), and then she'll activate lambent flame. ]
Black SheepTalen 1:
Dice: 6 d10 TN4 (1, 2, 5, 5, 9, 10) ( success x 4 )
Black SheepTalen 2:
Dice: 6 d10 TN4 (1, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8) ( success x 4 )
-ascendance-Closer.
Closer.
Closer.
And then, all of a sudden, she is there. A dip in the landscape, a bend in the river, something: the last barriers to line-of-sight fall away, and she sees The Shadow.
Or really: she doesn't see it. No one can see it. It is notable, visible, by its very absence: a being of pure darkness. In comparison, the blackest night is bright as day. In comparison, the deep blackness of space, even, is bright. This thing is black beyond black, blacker than anything Charlotte has ever seen before, so black that her eyes ache for lack of light.
It has latched onto one of the strands of light emanating from the city, and it is feeding. Up until that point, that strand, that pattern-web, is the orderly, fractionated brilliance of an optical cable. Past that point, that strand is only darkness.
As Charlotte approaches, river at her heels, little lune at her back, The Shadow looks at her. She knows it looks at her, because she can feel its limitless, lightless chill straight down in the core of her being. It dislodges from the pattern web. Slowly, smoothly, with the inevitability of its own terrible gravity, it comes toward Charlotte.
She is, after all,
so very bright.
Black SheepCharlotte lifts up the slingshot. It is a lovely slingshot, made for hunting, made for handling, made, even, for hands the size of a Crinos Garou, and she loads and throws first one and then another of her little missives, her little stones, right at the the darkness
pewpew
and then she throws down the now-cleansed stone that was its prison for so-many-years, right into its path. Snaps her jaw and snarls a challenge.
Sinks into hispo and surges forward, the rite and the battle begun.
-ascendance-[soakity!]
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 3, 5, 10) ( success x 1 )
-ascendance-[soak!]
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (2, 3, 6, 7, 9) ( success x 3 )
-ascendance-That first missile glances across The Shadow -- seems to tear through the darkness, carve a flaming trail. The edges of the wound burn scintillatingly, the red-orange of embers.
The second missile is simply swallowed whole. It disappears into darkness, as though falling into a very, very, very deep pit, until the eye can no longer follow its path.
Charlotte-the-Hispo snarls a challenge. She surges forward, so brave that the little lune is right on her heels, puffing up, arching its back, hissing. And The Shadow, that inevitable, terrible thing: it simply keeps coming forward. Onward. Nearer and nearer, dreadfully slow, until all at once
it is not slow at all. It is fast, fast as light, fast as darkness. The little lune is there one second, and then
gone. Devoured.
-ascendance-[+2 rage for NOOOOOOOO]
Black SheepThis is both rite and battle. It is a battle-rite and she can feel the surge of rage in her feral body. The full-moon spike of it - which has a tidal kind of certainty. No wonder the moon follows the ocean. Or is it the ocean that follows the moon?
No matter.
This is not merely a thing-of-darkness. It is also a thing-of-substance, of spirit, of will, of rage.
The Silver Fang surges forward and tears into it. Faster than can be seen.
[1a/b split. BITES. Rage 1 + Rage 2: BITES.]
Black Sheep1a. -2.
Dice: 5 d10 TN5 (1, 4, 7, 9, 10) ( success x 3 )
Black SheepDamage!
Dice: 9 d10 TN6 (2, 5, 6, 6, 7, 7, 7, 9, 10) ( success x 7 )
-ascendance-[soak!]
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 5, 6, 10) ( success x 2 )
Black SheepSoak! Ack!
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 4, 4, 7, 8) ( success x 2 )
Black Sheep1b. BITE.
Dice: 4 d10 TN5 (2, 3, 4, 6) ( success x 2 ) [WP]
Black SheepDamage!
Dice: 8 d10 TN6 (4, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9, 10, 10) ( success x 5 )
-ascendance-There is no satisfying crunch of teeth into flesh and bone. There is no murderously delightful spurt of blood, or even ichor.
Instead, Charlotte's mouth feels numb. Her teeth feel as though they're not there at all. Her strength feels sapped, and sapped further with every bite. She finds herself digging in with her claws to maintain her balance. She feels the devastating pull of The Shadow like a riptide, threatening to drag her in, and away, and down.
[soak!]
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 2, 8, 9, 9) ( success x 3 )
Black SheepSOAK!
Dice: 3 d10 TN6 (2, 6, 6) ( success x 2 )
Black SheepThis whine, deep and raw, at the sensation as it pulls at her, away, away and down. The gravity draws another snarl and she shakes her maw and digs in for purchase and -
Rage 1: BITE.
Dice: 7 d10 TN5 (1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 9, 10) ( success x 4 )
Black SheepDamage!
Dice: 10 d10 TN6 (2, 4, 4, 5, 5, 5, 5, 6, 10, 10) ( success x 3 )
-ascendance-[soak!]
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 7, 7, 7, 9) ( success x 4 )
Black SheepSoak!
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (2, 3, 5, 9, 10) ( success x 2 )
Black SheepRage 2:
Dice: 7 d10 TN5 (2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, 9) ( success x 4 )
Black SheepDamage!
Dice: 10 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 1, 4, 6, 6, 8, 10, 10, 10) ( success x 6 )
-ascendance-[OW]
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (3, 6, 7, 9, 10) ( success x 4 )
Black SheepSoak!
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (6, 7, 9, 10, 10) ( success x 5 )
-ascendance-Is it doing any good? Is she making headway? How does one fight absolute nothingness, anyway?
Charlotte fights like this: with claws. With teeth. With fervor, with valor, with outrage, with fury. She bites and bites and bites at it, tears at it with all her might. She tastes nothing. She feels nothing. She does not know if she is weakening it, though surely she is --
she does know, though, that it is encroaching upon her. That with every bite she tunnels deeper into its nothingness, and now it has oozed around her, it has begun to envelope her.
At her back, the river washes over her numb paws. It reminds her: it is here, it is here. What can it do?
Black SheepPerception 3 + Primal Urge 3
Dice: 6 d10 TN6 (4, 8, 8, 9, 9, 10) ( success x 5 )
-ascendance-[she is making a difference! she can't really see it, but The Shadow is shrinking.]
Black SheepHer flanks heave and her numb mouth lolls and she can feel it, devouring her, eating her, consuming her, pulling her into its endless gravity and it is harder to breathe and harder to feel and harder to think the more she charges the nothing, the more the nothing surges over her, as if it were the unmaker itself.
But she still feels: the water lapping at her ankles, the river washing over her paws. That wakes her. She shakes herself again and -
reaches
and senses the devouring darkness, is shrinking.
Heal me if I fall.
This to the river, panted out, more thought or prayer than anything else. The River saved her before; perhaps it will again.
Then she leaps forward again. There is no more time to question. There is just -
darkness, numbness, the cold kernal of rage inside her body.
[1a/b. BITE and BITE. Rage 1: BITE. Rage 2: BITE.]
Black Sheep1a:
Dice: 5 d10 TN5 (5, 8, 9, 9, 10) ( success x 5 )
Black SheepDamage!
Dice: 11 d10 TN6 (1, 2, 3, 3, 5, 6, 8, 8, 10, 10, 10) ( success x 6 )
-ascendance-[soak!]
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (2, 3, 8, 9, 10) ( success x 3 )
Black SheepSoak!
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (6, 7, 8, 9, 10) ( success x 5 )
Black Sheep1b.
Dice: 4 d10 TN5 (2, 3, 4, 7) ( success x 2 ) [WP]
Black SheepDamage!
Dice: 8 d10 TN6 (1, 3, 4, 5, 5, 6, 8, 8) ( success x 3 )
-ascendance-Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (3, 7, 7, 9, 9) ( success x 4 )
Black SheepSoak!
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 4, 7, 10) ( success x 2 )
Black SheepRage 1:
Dice: 7 d10 TN5 (3, 4, 6, 6, 7, 9, 10) ( success x 5 )
Black SheepDamage!
Dice: 11 d10 TN6 (1, 1, 2, 2, 5, 5, 7, 7, 7, 7, 9) ( success x 5 )
-ascendance-Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (3, 5, 6, 7, 9) ( success x 3 )
Black SheepSoak!
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (1, 2, 5, 7, 10) ( success x 2 )
Black SheepRage 2:
Dice: 7 d10 TN5 (3, 5, 6, 6, 7, 9, 10) ( success x 6 )
Black SheepDamage!
Dice: 12 d10 TN6 (1, 3, 4, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 9, 10, 10, 10) ( success x 8 )
-ascendance-Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (3, 4, 7, 9, 10) ( success x 3 )
Black Sheepsoak!
Dice: 5 d10 TN6 (3, 4, 6, 6, 8) ( success x 3 )
-ascendance-Little
by little
by little, she whittles it down. She thins the darkness, makes it flimsy, breakable. Makes it stretched so taut that -- she realizes this suddenly -- even as it envelopes her, even as it covers her ankles, her knees, her waist, her shoulders, her mouth, her ears,
even as it threatens to swallow her entirely: she can see right through it. She can look through it, as though it's not there at all.
One last snap of her teeth. And The Shadow simply ruptures, flailing apart, spinning, tearing, ripping, fluttering. If it could scream, it would. But it can't scream. It is only darkness: collapsing on itself, becoming very very small indeed. Crumpling into a basketball, a tennisball, a golfball, a point of nothingness.
Bindable now. Lock-away-able.
No sign of her little lune, though.
Black SheepOne moment she is being swallowed by darkness. The next she is being devoured by darkness. The next it is collapsing, and she springs back at it begins to fall together, splashing in the ankle deep water, snarl-barking as she does.
There is no triumph. Just a moment where she rears back and begins to rise from her hispo form to her crinos form.
Spirits, she knows, are rarely destroyed. Merely sent to slumber.
So where is her little lune?
--
The water remains.
Cleanse the Blight. Make it give-up the light it stole from My Mother the Moon, who shows her face across your waters every night. Then I will bind it so that it may not escape.
-ascendance-The water remains.
The water washes around her paws; wets her fur; cools her paws. Her sensation begins to return: pins and needles, hot as fire.
The water flows, and it eddies. It speaks in a tongue like smooth stones tumbling in a waterfall:
We will cleanse for you. We remember. For you we will cleanse. But we cannot bring light from darkness. Cannot bring light.
You can. You can enter darkness. Find light. Emerge. We can hold darkness at bay. Prevent its escape. Prevent it from devouring you altogether. But only for a time. Only for a time.
Will you enter?
Black SheepThere's only one answer.
Yes.
- and down the rabbit hole she goes.
-ascendance-Into the darkness she dives, until that darkness grows, until it encompasses the horizon, the sky, the earth, her mind. There is -- if she was afraid of such a thing -- no dreadful pull, no horrific stretching, no freakshow spaghettification. There is simply the unbelievably fast growth of absolute nothingness from a point
to a golfball
to a tennisball, a basketball, a beachball, a globe, a world, a universe.
--
She is no longer herself, then.
She has no weight, no identity, no boundaries.
She is darkness, and the darkness is her.
--
And then, gradually, she realizes she is not in darkness at all. She is not in darkness but in light, bathed in it. Absolute, blinding light, white light from every direction. At the heart of a fallen star gravity bends light, bends space, bends time. Caught in this trap, this cosmic time-out, all the world passes outside, too quickly to be seen as anything but brilliance. She is alone in a vast white silence, suspended, in suspension,
until
she realizes: she is not alone after all. She is curled like a fetus, curled like an egg, and there is a rabbit beside her, curled like a fetus, curled like an egg. Eyes closed, ears laid along the back of its head.
Black SheepShe is curled like a fetus, curled like an egg, curled like a seedling, possibility, promise, consumed and consuming and she can hear her heart beating, Charlotte, against the roof of her mouth. They are moving so very fast now but all she feels is the weight outside herself. The dis/connection between that without and the strange slow-time parabolic descent into (she takes another breath) the burst light at the heart (and another) of the fallen star.
Perhaps this is what slumber feels like, to the spirits, or the ancestors. This buoyed compression, this sense of animate suspension, and removal. Charlotte does not think, precisely, in phrases like perhaps or maybe - she is a theurge, and her mind is both more and less bendy than that - but she does think that this is what beforetime and notime and everywhen are like. Sleep, too, perhaps.
Is she a wolf or a girl? She is a wolf and a girl, see, two yolks in the same egg scrambled together and her self here hardly matters.
And there is a rabbit. A bright moon-bound rabbit whose brilliance is lost in the brilliant inward collapse of the fallen start and the girl reaches for it, egg to egg, pulls it close, strokes its ears, strokes its ears, strokes its ears, as she starts to - well, howl and sing, a greeting to what once-was and is-now collapsed.
The simplest of rites to honor helios, greeting the sun in the fallen-star. Some memory of sunrise as the world without passes beyond. Exuberant though the rite is meant to be, this one has a minor note, a keening sound. This is what you lost, little sun, when you fell.
Then she tucks the rabbit against her body, holds it close - stretches. Is movement possible? Is sound? Where does the greeting go?
(Wits + Rituals: minor rite: Greet the Sun)
Dice: 7 d10 TN6 (1, 3, 6, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10) ( success x 6 ) Re-rolls: 1
-ascendance-Here's the thing. The dreadful secret about falling, about collapsing so far into oneself that one is removed from the universe, about being lost:
it's not so bad.
She could stay here forever. There is no hunger, no pain, no suffering left. Nothing but white light; all the light of the universe, all the light devoured by the darkness. It's still here, see. It didn't die. It just went somewhere else. And it would be so easy to curl up. Like a fetus. Like an egg. Like the promise of something else, unfulfilled. It would be so easy to just give up.
Wouldn't it?
--
The little rabbit: bright against her heart. Soft fur, cool fur. A real rabbit would be warm, frenetically hot-burning, but this one is not. This one is soft as moonbeams, cool as silver. It moves only a little, a tiny little dream-twitch, and does not open its eyes.
Charlotte begins to howl. She begins to sing. She honors the sun-that-was; not the fallen-star-that is. She honors what it was, and what was without. There is no music here: her voice is mute, her body impossibly heavy, almost impossible to move. But she sings nonetheless, and the song is everywhere and nowhere at once, and all around,
all around a quiver, a shimmying shiver like a quake. An ache and a sigh; remembrance. The blank white ripples and stills.
Black SheepThe greeting is a kind of remembrance, a sort of half-formed contrition. Here is the inverse of that-which-was. Everything consumed back into itself. All that light swallowed, the gravity impossible, time slowed to the shape of a dream-twitching moon-rabbit held quite safely in her arms.
She feels the stir, the sigh, the shifting in the bound and heavy light all around her. Honors whatever is in this thing that would stir and shift and sigh for what was and what was lost, and she does that even as the song changes: another sound, twined with the first - because it was meant foremost to be performed at dawn, as the sun rises and offers its new-light to the world - and here it is always dawn, a dark and endless dawn, without a horizon around which to bend itself except the event horizon.
So: the stir, the sigh.
The song.
Holding on to the moon-rabbit in her right hand, Charlotte (Alice) reaches for her little pack and pulls from it a small vial of clear water from the highest of streams. There are no spirits bound within, just that water that she pours into this endlessly collapsed static as she starts to move and her howl of honor and greeting changes to something else: a challenge, a snarl, a rite meant to cleanse and banish the Wyrm.
Black SheepRite!
Dice: 7 d10 TN10 (2, 2, 2, 5, 5, 5, 9, 10) ( success x 2 ) Re-rolls: 1 [WP]
-ascendance-That shiver all around again. That ripple, heavier this time, a shudder. A straining, keening note on the edge of hearing. In her arms the moon-rabbit opens its eyes, gives its head a quick shake. It kicks, spasmodically, as small animals and small gafflings do when caught.
And overhead, in that blank whiteness: the tiniest, most transient of partings. A rift, an opening, a crack through which Charlotte can see a glimpse of the world-that-was.
Large enough for a moon-rabbit.
Large enough for her, perhaps. If she squeezes.
And yet all around her: that intangible sense of loss, of suffering, of ghosts on the very edge of remembrance.
-ascendance-[i am gonna let you, if you want to, reroll cleansing at the same diff. if you get 3 succ in one roll, or ... let's say 7 cumulative! SOMETHING REALLY GOOD WILL HAPPEN. but if she fails or botches a roll, the opening will close again, and Cleansing will not reopen it. she'll have to find another way out.
in interest of fairness: she will not lose renown at all if she chooses to escape right now.]
Black SheepThe beast the creature the priestess is still keening/snarling that challenge, that rite, scattering clean water from the highest of alpine lakes, where the water knows the sun and knows the stars and knows the moon, and remembers all, reflects their light, gleams pure as anything left on earth in its basin. She lifts up the spasmodic little moon-rabbit with her other hand, to that thinning, that opening, that place-where-things part and pushes the little sisterbrother through but does not follow him.
Does not follow him and does not stop her song, her call, her remembers.
There is a challenge inherent in the rite but there is also somehow twined with it now the earlier rite - a paean to greatness, the memory of the sun - see, wake, wake.
Once you rose.
Now you - merely - fall.
(Continuing the rite!)
Dice: 7 d10 TN10 (1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 8, 10) ( success x 2 ) Re-rolls: 1 [WP]
Black SheepAnd again.
Dice: 7 d10 TN10 (2, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, 10) ( success x 2 ) Re-rolls: 1 [WP]
Black SheepONE MORE TIME.
Dice: 7 d10 TN10 (2, 2, 4, 4, 5, 5, 6) ( success x 1 ) [WP]
-ascendance-Her voice like a beat in a heart, unseen and unheard but felt, felt. Like a hammer against stone, against ceramic, against glass: again, again, again. The shuddering of the world all around her. The splitting of the featureless white sky. The cracks and the rivulets running together, a spiderweb of fractures, spreading and growing and fusing until --
until --
This is what it must be like to stand at the heart of creation. This is what it must have been like to be gaia at the moment she came into being. This sudden, wild out-flinging, this ecstatic shattering, this bursting-forth, this atomization.
Charlotte flies apart. The world flies apart. The white heart of the black star flies apart, flails in every direction, flings to every corner of the universe. There is pain, because of course there is; birth does not happen any other way. Things crack and rupture and split and tear and there is a scream in her mind, it may be her own, she is blind, she is rapturous, all the universe screams with her and then
silences.
--
Darkness, then.
True darkness. The sensation of coolness. Liquid. A river washing past her feet. Grass beneath her cheek. Fur against her arm, pushing, nudging, insistent.
Her dazzled eyes open. The night sky above, restored. An infinity of stars. Perhaps there is one more there that was not before. Who can remember? Who can know for certain? Who can count the stars. Who is like god?
A moon-rabbit huddled beside her, nose twitching, wide-set eyes fixed on her.
And a moon-bridge descending from on high, arcing so slow, so graceful, so silent down toward her.
Black SheepThe pain is so physical that it feels distant somehow. She is intact in the midst of being pulled apart. She is shattered, but that sundering is fractured and physical, it is not bound and framed and formed in her madness, but in her being. Somehow that makes it both right, and righteous.
Somehow - for an endlessly passing moment - her broken mind feels,
well,
whole.
--
And then: night. She is a girl-again, and she is on her hands and knees in the umbral reflection of the city's own expression of madness. She has become more comfortable here, she might even make it through LA without clapping her hands over her ears and decompensating, but it is the river, still wild, that makes any of that calcified city center tolerable. And beneath it: she is spent, so utterly and wholly spent that she just wants to curl up, perhaps with her moonrabbit, and sleep. The wolf-girl does open her arms, exhausted, and pull the moon-rabbit closer, and pet its silver-cool ears, and marvel at the arcing brilliance of the approaching moon-bridge, which seems as if it is half-contained in a dream.
-ascendance-Perhaps she expects a Lune to approach.
Perhaps she expects the one she Called, or the one who guarded the Gates of the Moon.
Perhaps she expects nothing at all. And indeed, nothing -- or at least no one -- is what she gets. The moonbridge touches down. It bathes her in the purest, silverest light she has ever known. And no one comes, and no one goes, and no voice booms approval from the heavens.
Just light. Just the soft touch of the Her Mother the Moon; cool on her brow like a mother's touch, a fevered brow.
The moon-rabbit doesn't leave, either. It snuggles a little closer and closes its eyes.
--
Perhaps she falls asleep. Perhaps time simply passes unremarked; for what is the passage of time, when her mind has so recently touched eternity?
Eventually the light dims and fades.
Eventually the night passes.
Eventually the sun begins to rise, golden through the trees and the brush, and now, softly, footsteps approach her from afar. They are steady and they are patient and they are quiet, and when they are quite close indeed Veiled-Heart crouches lithely before her. Tilts her head, her black hair falling over her shoulder like sand through an hourglass.
"Tell me," she invites, simply.
Black Sheep"Uhm." Is it morning? Has she returned?
No, Veiled-Heart has found her and she is still here, close to the shores of the river she called to follow her into darkness. The ground is still damp, but the water has receded as if it never rose at all. As if this were merely the effect of the spirits of the morning-mist, or perhaps a passing storm.
Charlotte kind of pushes herself upright, both hands planted on the ground, careful with the little lune, yes but still - utterly - spent.
"Well that's the little lune. He wasn't scared away by the eclipse though, see when the eclipse was happening everyone was watching it but he was watching a different shadow bound into a heavy rock it's that one over there - " and indeed it is still close by. She had intended to bind the fallen-star spirit back into its prison once she sent it in to slumber - " - and it escaped when no one was watching.
"It was a shadow too, a little fallen-star, hungry, and that's why she-he said it was gonna eat everything, because it was. So I followed the little brothersister into the Aetherial realm to call herhim back but shehe said no, meat-wolf, you're being stupid I'm not scared of the eclipse and told me all about the shadow, so I went too to the Gates of the Moon to offer to help and we came back down here and found its prison so I used that for a rite to follow it and called up the river after I found it so it could help cleanse or heal and then I threw some bane arrows at it and fought it 'til it went to sleep but while we were fighting it ate the little brothersister so I went in after.
"And it was everything in there, all light, moving so fast and not moving at all, and it made me think of a sleeping star and a star's just another kind of sun so I honored the sun in the star and then I started cleansing in hopes that it would maybe spit me and the little brothersister out but instead it felt like it was remembering what it was so I put the lune out and kept going and going and then I was out here.
"There was a moonbright but I didn't follow it.
"Maybe I should've but I was too tired."
-ascendance-Silently, Charlotte's tribe- and auspice-sister listens, her expression smooth, her eyes as veiled as her heart. She is kneeling in the dirt, kneeling so neatly, her palms over her knees. Now and again her eyes flicker, but never once does she interrupt, or gasp, or move.
When Charlotte is finished, Veiled-Heart's smile is faint, and like so many other expressions of hers, tinged with a faraway sort of sadness.
"Even if you should've, I suspect Luna forgave so small a transgression."
Her eyes rest on the little lune for a moment, and then return to Charlotte. "And what of the little fallen-star?" she asks. "Destroyed? Bound? ... Cleansed?"
Black Sheep"I don't know." Charlotte says, her voice remarkably quiet, her expression still and absolutely accepting her lack-of-knowledge.
There is so little they know, or can know, of all the mysteries that surround them.
"I was trying to cleanse it, and then it shattered and it felt like it shattered me. Like it was destroyed, but maybe also in its destruction it was reborn.
"It wasn't here, though. When I came to."
-ascendance-Veiled-Heart lifts her eyes to the sky. Here in the penumbral, the moon shines by day or by night. The stars sing. The sun, though distant, is impossibly glorious; a sovereign king on his throne.
"One day," says Veiled-Heart, soft but sure, "when you find out the fate of that star you saved, you will come back and tell me. Won't you?"
A beat.
"What would you name yourself, Charlotte Gray, Fostern of the Silver Fangs?"
Black Sheep"I don't know that, either." Charlotte says, with a ghostly sort-of-smile drifting across her mouth. Tired, that expression. "Alice," a glimpse at the moonrabbit, "maybe."
A joke. This quiet little brimming of her mouth that blooms and fades.
"I never thought I'd get another name. But I guess I have, though I'll figure that out later, too.
"Thank you, Veiled-Heart. Shall we take our little sisterbrother home?"
ascendance
"You have earned another." The distinction is small, but important. "It shall be one you are proud to wear."
And then, smiling:
"Yes, Yuf. Let's take your friend home."
--
Their little sisterbrother, it turns out, is in fact a semi-permanent guest of the Caern. Their path back to its home is a short one, taken under the rays of the day's new sun. A little ways into it, the moon-rabbit hops down from Charlotte's arms, recognizing the terrain, leading the way.
As they go, Veiled-Heart converses a little more. She admits that she was never wholly convinced that fear of a simple eclipse was what drove the little lune away. She confesses that she never thought, however, that the danger would run so deep; stretch so far.
She hopes, she says, that the little fallen-star was cleansed and reborn. She believes, she says, that even were it not reborn, it is at peace; severed from the darkness of its patron, given another chance in the great wheel of Gaia's love.
She is proud of Charlotte, her sister of moon and tribe. Charlotte, she hopes, is proud of herself as well.
--
The little lune lives in a little shrine near the heart of the Caern. It has built for itself a shining, diaphanous little home, like a mirror in miniature of the grand palace of Its Mother the Moon. It breaks into an all-out dash at the sight of it, heart-glad, streaking over the earth like light over water.
At the door of its home it turns. One quick glance back at Charlotte, and then
it relinquishes its borrowed form. Becomes a being of pure light and lightness: its true self, returning to roost like a flame within a lantern.
--
There is, of course, the business of the formal declaration before the Caern. There is the Challenge Circle redrawn, the onlookers gathered. There is Charlotte's new rank shouted for all and sundry, so that all wolves, all men, all spirits knew the truth:
that she was worthy,
that she was strong and wise and clever and brave,
that she is Fostern.
When Veiled-Heart breaks the circle and declares the challenge ended, Erich is there, laughing, sweeping her up in a hug. Her friends are there; those who know her and love her. Others are there as well, those who know her not, or not very well: they, too, look upon her with interest, with consideration, with recognition.
Fostern, they call her. Yuf, and sometimes even Rhya. She is congratulated, her hand is shaken, she is hugged, she is nudged and bounded-upon and eventually they manage to escape the well-wishers, Charlotte and her pack-brother; they manage to make it back to the car where they call Melantha, and then of course they will all go out to dinner, they will all celebrate, they will all be happy for her.
--
It is quite late at night when they return to the tinyhouses. Two, now, because Melantha's is so very nearly finished. They bid each other goodnight, they wash for bed, and Charlotte lets herself into her tinyroom in the tinyhouse
where
curled and dreaming upon her pillow
she finds her little friend, the little lune, the moon-rabbit with its little mortar-and-pestle, come to visit, and perhaps to stay.